Ask about the definition of lust: What is lust? According to dictionary.com, lust is defined as a very strong sexual desire.
Talk about lust according to the Bible dictionary: According to the Bible Dictionary, lust is defined as a sinful desire or an intense longing desire.
Talk about the first description: In the first description, to lust is to have a sinful desire for something. This may be directed towards objects (coveting), being violent rather than maintaining self-control, and filling your mind with earthly, sexually immoral, or perishable things. Simply, a desire to do what is bad. In this case, lusting is a verb. For example, you in the act of lusting when you are dwelling on a thought of having sex with someone you just met.
Talk about the second description: An intense longing desire, on the other hand refers to an intense longing sinful desire. Look at Exodus 15:1-9 for an example.
Read Exodus 15:1-9: What is happening in this verse? As per verse the King James Version, this verse is indicating that Pharaoh and his soldiers’ sinful desire is to do what? To conquer and destroy the Israelites. In this case, lust is a noun. In this example, the enemy had a lust for power and destruction and the only way to quench it was to kill the Israelites.
Talk about different forms of lust: What are different forms of lust that are commonly discussed in church? Premarital sex, pornography, daydreaming about premarital sex, thinking about another man’s girl in a sexual way,
Read Matthew 5:28: Jesus came to affirm that sin includes the actions done in the mind and heart, not just the visible actions.
Talk about a married man’s lust: Is it possible for a married man to lust over his wife? I would argue that it is possible to idolize sex and a wife’s body. This appears to be the act of lusting, especially if a husband is valuing sex over building a relationship with his wife. This has the potential to cause tension in a marriage.
Talk about the harmfulness of lust: How can lust be harmful? Lust goes beyond just the act of having premarital sex or extramarital sex. It starts with the heart and then leads to a lustful act such as those. As we know, watching pornography is also sinful because we are taking sex down and turning it into lust, watering down God’s design for it.
Ask about porn and the Bible: What does the Bible say about how to deal with porn?
Read Matthew 5:27-30 for some answers.
Ask about scripture: What does Matthew 5:27-30 mean? This does not mean we should literally cut off our hand if we use our hand to turn on the phone to access porn. Instead, we should cut out the tool that allows or increases the temptation of sin.
Ask about the sin tools: What are some examples of tools that allow us to view porn? Phones, tablets, computers, and magazines.
Ask about strategies when dealing with porn: And what are some strategies we can do to remove the tool allowing us to view it? Cut them out, moderate usage, or have someone keep you accountable.
Ask about accountability and porn: What are some ways that we can stay accountable for porn? There are apps and websites that can notify friends if there is any questionable usage that could be porn.
Talk about long-term effects of porn: Are there any negative long-term effects of pornography? There are many studies done on pornography. Erectile Dysfunction has been found to be a primary issue associated with regular pornography use. Erectile Dysfunction includes difficulty with maintaining an erection for longer than a minute. Some additional primary negative long-term effect of porn includes lack of sleep (which interferes with productivity, energy and motivation level), addiction to sex or porn (which often includes difficulty with minimizing usage), changes in perspective on women (e.g. objectifying or dehumanizing them), unrealistic expectations in the bedroom with your spouse, and tension in marriage. Is porn worth the risks?
Ask about premarital sex: Why shouldn’t we engage in premarital sex? It’s not God’s design. Have you heard of the saying, two will become one flesh? Read Matthew 19:4-5 to find out more on this. What is this referring to? This could refer to the consummation of marriage in which the husband and wife will have sex immediately after they get married. This marital union is intended to be fully consummated in consensual sexual intercourse open to procreation. Consummation is defined as the act of consuming something to the fill or a fulfillment of some goal or desired outcome. Consummation in theology is marked by the arrival of Jesus Christ, where the kingdoms of this world are directly under the Kingdom of God on Earth (Revelation 11:15). In many traditions and statutes of civil or religious law around the world can refer to the first credited act of sexual intercourse between a husband and a wife. When referring to this, the consummation of sex immediately after marriage with your wife should be fulfilling as the two symbolically become one in their nakedness, seeing each other for who they are and accepting each other even though there are flaws.
Read 1 Corinthians 6:16-20. This can strongly relate to sex outside of marriage. This verse is indicating that we become one flesh with every one that we have sex with. What could this mean? Beyond just a strong intimate emotional connection with someone, you are demonstrating your complete nakedness to someone that you may not spend the rest of your life with.
Talk about God’s design of sex: God’s design is God’s design. To understand why we shouldn’t engage in premarital sex and pornography, we must understand God’s design of sex. Read Song of Solomon 1:1-4 for a little bit on this. God design is for there to be anticipation for sex on the wedding day. Is it okay to be infatuated with your wife after being married? Read Song of Solomon 7:6-12. God wants you to be overwhelmed by your wife’s beauty, including her breasts. Sexual attraction should be there in marriage. When sex is done right, it can make a marriage so much more special. How can premarital sex harm a marriage?
Read Genesis 2:25. What does nakedness represent in a marriage? Nakedness in marriage represents transparency, honesty, vulnerability, and an atmosphere of seeing someone for who they are and still accepting them completely. This is vital for marriage. This vulnerable act of demonstrating your complete nakedness emotionally and physically should be designed for your spouse and spouse only. Sex can be compared to a flame. It has the potential to be life giving if used how it was designed to be and destructive if used incorrectly.
Talk about difficulties with abstinence: What happens if you are in a courted relationship and you are both struggling heavily with maintaining abstinence from sex? Read 1 Corinthians 7:9. What does this scripture say about sex? Because of the temptation of sexual immorality, we should marry. God is pretty mush saying, “Yes, I know you want to have sex with each other. Get married and have sex often so that you aren’t tempted to do so with anyone else”. The scripture points out “come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of the lack of self-control”. As a caring person, I would not suggest that you marry expecting that your sex-life will fulfill you completely. Remember what Genesis 3:11-15 says. Naturally, there will be conflict and enmity between a husband and wife. Since sex is such an emotional experience, especially for woman, at a time of conflict, sex may not always be readily available when you want it.
Why shouldn’t married people engage in extramarital affairs? Read Proverbs 5:15-19. It is not God’s design. When you keep your sexual relations among your spouse and your spouse only, “your fountain will be blessed”.
Ask about how to deal with lust: In general, how do we deal with lust? Turn to God, turn to the Bible, turn to others
Talk about dealing with lust: First, we need to turn to God when dealing with lust.
Read Proverbs 25:28
Read Psalm 119:11
Talk about another way to deal with lust: Second, we need to turn to the Bible for answers on how to deal with lust.
Read Matthew 26:41
Read 1 John 2:16-17
Talk about a final way to deal with lust: Lastly, we need to turn to each other for accountability.
Read Proverbs 27:17
Why are AA group’s effective for addictions? Accountability can motivate you to stay clean from addiction
Ask about an example of accountability: Does anyone have a story on how accountability benefitted them?
Conclusion: As a Christ follower, strive for purity in everything you do, even with your thoughts and with sex. Just remember that God has a design for how your life should be. Depend on God through it all. Finally, read 1 John 2:16-17. Keep this in your mind and hearts always.